dan, ive used the sneaky white powder also. i would use it now if i could get it here. for my increasing pain. not the high.i was 17 when i tried to quit. i was selling it and staRTED USING it and became addicted.i put my parents thru hell. there wasnt rehabs like there are today.a neigbor lady tied me to a bed in her basement and i stayed ther tied to that bed for 5 days. puking. crapping and screaming in pain . i had finally quit and only used it after almost 40 yrs because of pain.but its not around here enough to get on a regular basest.so i use what the dr. gives me. good but not enough.anyway understand what you are going thru. i have a son who we have been have some trouble with. he has started to mess around some with narcotics.and with me using them daily its a hard fight.but there is a difference. im in pain and he is not.at least not physical pain.he lives in a 2 story cottage we built off our back deck. pays no rent and cant find another job.or so he says.hell hes 28 and i cant keep paying his way. so in the next few days he may be sleeping outside in the woods because im going to show him the door. it hurts me like ive never hurt before.with all the crap that has beening going on in my life now i have to deal with him and his problems. ive loaded one of my pistols the other day and put it in my mouth. pulled the hammer back but i could not pull the trigger.i decided then that its time to tell him he has to either get it together or take it somewhere else. i cant deal with it anymore. i have enough on my plate without him adding to it.i feel your pain.i understand right where you are. if you want to talk some let me know . hell it would help me too. lol