The other day the wife said to me, "I want breast implants, my boobs are just too small"
I says to her, " Rub a couple of pieces of toilet paper between your boobs once or twice a day and they'll gradually get bigger"
She looked at me kinda funny, "Don't be ridiculous, that won't work"
I glanced back as I headed for the door, "Well it sure as hell worked on your ass"